


THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION

by roses36



Category: Basketball RPF
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 16:03:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12485440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roses36/pseuds/roses36
Summary: it's nba crackfic





	THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in class after the first game of the season

K so the Warriors just called a team meeting after blowing like a 90 point lead to a team that plays no defense and Steve Kerr was PISSED.

"WTF guys how am I supposed to get my 8th ring with this trash ass bum ass team?!" He broke a clipboard over Shaun Livingston's knee.

"God DAMMIT COACH THAT'S MY BAD KNEE!!" he fukin died lmao.

"It's one game calm the FUCK DOWN." Curry screeched.

"K whatever but seriously we're tanking RIGHT NOW you hear me the Spurs can have the finals I love Manu he deserves a ring y'know I played for the Spurs I sucked Manu's di-"

"COACH YOU BETTER STOP WITH THIS BULLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIT B4 I KICK YOU IN YOUR BUM ASS BACK!!!!!!" Draymond said.

"Draymond your ass is going to the D LEAGUE bum ass 2nd round pick."

"Boy weren't you like the 69th pick lmaoooooooo turrible" Charles Barkley said.

"Fuk u Barkley you have no rings I have 5 rings hahahaha" he shot him.

"Shaqtin a fool #1 Charles Barkley gets shot by Steve Kerr haha Charles is fat"

"Shack gtfo b4 I smack you!!!!" Steve Kerr wasn't having it.

"k"

"AnYwAY Draymond you're gonna be a perfect pick for the D League cuz it was the D league get it D for Draymond and now it's the G league G for Green now fuck off"

"Fine but you're never getting another ring you hear me never you got carried to 5 rings actually no 7 rings how tf were the Cavs gonna win in 2015 without Kyrie and Love and how tf were you gonna lose with me Klay Steph and KD a fukin Chihuahua can coach this team" he left but he kicked a hole in the wall actually he kicked the same hole that Dirk made when he threw a garbage can at the wall after losing to the FUCKING 2007 WARRIORS LMAOOOOOO

Dirk sensed this and he said something in German but no real people speak German so

"K so now it's time for Andre you're retiring David West too ya'll are old so go home Zaza you're gone too you're fucking shit what do you even do everyday" They honestly didn't give a fuck because they already got their rings.

Just then Melo and CP3 showed up

"Hey I heard y'all are making some moves any room for us???"

"I'll sign for 3 dollars" Melo added "I want a ring so bad." He started crying.

"I'll PAY for a ring boo hoo boo hoooooo" CP3 cried too 

"GO AWAY WE'RE TANKING!!!!!" Haha Steve Kerr's MAD

"Hell yeah the Rockets are making the finals!!!" CP3 wiped his tears

"No OKC making the finals Rockets are turrible."

Charles Barkley would've come back but he's DEAD rip

PG13 and Westbrook showed up and so did Harden.

"I hear you're talking trash?!" they all said simultaneously. They were about to square up but then POP SHOWED UP!

"Who tf do y'all think you are lmaoooooo" he said.

"LMAOOOOOO you think that your team of old ass men are gonna beat US?!?!" Melo laughed so hard he almost had a heart attack.

"Being old hasn't stopped you yet OH WAIT it has bum"

Then Manu showed up and Harden cried he retired too how tf are you gonna get blocked by a 90 year old man smh

"can y'all leave I'm trying to tank FUCK"

They left

"Are... are the Spurs gone?" Steve Nash was also crying tbh Steve Nash deserved better imagine if Dallas kept him him and Dirk would've had like at least 3 rings

"KD you're traded bon voyage"

"K good I wanted to go back to OKC have you seen their team I mean yeah our I mean their bench is trash but me Melo PG13 and Westbrook that's gonna be unstoppable" KD hissed.

"You really think I'm gonna reward your snake ass? Nah your ass is going somewhere NO ONE wants to go."

"The Nets?"

"Worse."

"The Knicks?"

"WORSE."

"The Hawks?"

"EVEN WORSE!!!!!!! THE BULLS!!!!!!!!"

"Oh NO COACH don't send me to the Bulls PLEASE did you SEE what happens at their practices people get fukin PUNCHED do you SEE may arms how am I supposed to defend myself I can barely hold the basketball it's so heavy PLEASE DON'T SEND ME THERE THEIR BEST PLAYER IS ROBIN LOPEZ!!!!!!!"

"It's too late we traded you for their 2017 2nd round draft pick Jordan Bell."

"Um that's me." Jordan Bell said.

"Oops whatever." KD slithered out of the room fukin snake ass FUCK I HATE KD

"K so finally to conclude this tanking Klay and Steph you're waived."

"WHAT exCUUUUUse ME I am the GOD DAMN MUDDA FUKKIN MVP OF THE WARRIORS!!!!! I'm LOYAL and you're getting rid of ME and my SPLASH BrOOOOOOOOOOOO?!!!"

"wait what" klayyyyyyy lmaooooooo

At this point I couldn't think of anything funny so Curry just karate chopped Swaggy P idk man

\------

**COMING UP NEXT ON NBA ON TNT WITH ERNIE "THE GOAT" JOHNSON KENNY "THE JET" SMITH SHAQUILLE O'NEAL AND NOT CHARLES BARKLEY HE DIED THE WARRIORS WITH THEIR NEW STARTING LINEUP**

**PG-** Javale McGee because he's really a point guard in a center's body

 **SG-** Kerr hurt Shaun's knee and Curry karate chopped Swaggy P's wrist so Swaggy P is just gonna carry Shaun on his shoulders

 **SF-** N/A

 **PF-** Kevin McHale yes Kevin McHale he's not actually on the team but desperate times call for desperate measures

 **C-** Jordan Bell???

**in other news Steve Kerr went fucking crazy and killed like 50 more people**


End file.
